Monday, December 27, 2010

Christmas with the Crawford's

Hello all!
 Lara here again to tell you all of the wonderful and ridiculous events that surrounded my 2010 christmas experience.
   Let's start with christmas eve......

   On christmas eve I worked until 6:50pm, then was picked up by my best friend Ashley to go see my other best friend, Zack. We got to his empty house and Ashley pulled out her brand new bong that she recieved as a present, and of course, we took it upon ourselves to smoke it and name it. Since it was Christmas eve, we named this lovely lady of a bong EVE; it's not corny, it's appropriate, so shut your candy hole. Zack ditched us promptly after smoking from Eve and went to his cousins house but let us stay and chill in his house. Ashley went to the bathroom and came back into the room with a face that said "I just saw santa blowing a reindeer", but then she actually said "There is a shotgun in their bathroom". Obviously I was skeptical of this because we live in Canada, but I went to check it out anyways. There was a gun in the bathroom alright, but it wasn't a shotgun, it was a rifle, and it wasn't a real one. I explained to Ashley that Zack's dad does history re-enactments, which is why there is a fake rifle in their house. Don't ask me why he keeps it in the bathroom, because i honestly couldn't even fathom a reasonable explanation for you.
    After we were finished at Zack's, Ashley drove me back to my house where I entered to see my sisters, dad, and brother watching a movie. I go upstairs to get changed out of my work clothes in order to avoid awkward conversations with my parents while i was high, but then i got a text message from sister Abby that read: "Chas is sooooo ripped!" And so naturally, i had to go and investigate the highness of my older brother. I didn't think that he would really be much more high than i was, but i was standing behind him for about 5 minutes before he even realized i was in the room, and he looked at me with his eyes barely even open and said "hey Lara" at a speed that would make a turtle blush. He was ripped alright; him and i sat down to wrap presents with my dad, and everything that came out of my brothers mouth either made no sense or was as intelligent as poking a t-rex in the eye with a candy cane. He was wrapping a bottle of wine for my grandma, and my dad was trying to give him advice on the best way to do it, and kept mentioning something about making the top into a brother did what he thought my dad was talking about, and made some weird frill-like  thing on the top, and my dad just looked at it and laughed. I wrapped my present for my grandma (a coffee mug full of different flavours of tea, a gingerbread man, and candy cane hot chocolate mix from second cup), and went to bed to dream about sugarplums.
    Christmas day....
  I woke up, showered, and went downstairs to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. The first family member i crossed paths with was my dad. He had a rather long cut on his face right by his mouth, i pointed it out and asked him what happened; he told me that he came third in a hatchet fight (he actually cut himself while shaving though). We all sat down as a family to open our presents before we headed to London. My dad's first present was octagonal in shape and while trying to guess what it was, my brother threw out the idea that it might be a 3-Dimensional stop sign, because apparently stop signs are the only things that are octagonal. I got some decent gifts this year; a $100 bramalea city centre gift card from "Santa", Chuck season 1 DVD from Kate, $10 Tim Horton's gift card from dad, $25 cineplex gift card from mom, slippers from my dog and cat, socks, a nail kit, a cookie monster shirt from Abby, a poster from Chas that taught me how to order a beer in 20 different languages, a shirt from AE from my dad, and jalapeno peanuts from my mom. After presents, we all got ready to head out. My brother wore his shoes up in to the kitchen to grab something, and my dad asked him if his shoes are actual leather. My brother said yes, and my dad laughed and said that it took two whole deer carcasses to make shoes big enough for my brothers feet. Gotta love the christmas comments.

     To London!
  The ride to London to see my grandma Crawford and the Crawford family was fairly un-eventful. My sexy headphones are m.i.a. and so i borrowed a pair of shitty ones from my sister. My brother bundled himself up in what my siblings decided to call the "man cocoon", and Abby took a picture of it for facebook. here it is:
We finally got to London to 4 feet of snow, and got right down to eating and present opening. My first present from Grandma C was a large square shape, so i bet Kate $10 that it was a Snuggie. It was, and i won $10...score one for Lara ;)  I also got a $50 H&M card. My uncle Craig did the sprinkler all night (the dance move) and everyone was merry.
    We came back to brampton, and i went to my brother's house with ashley and zack because my favourite cousin Natasha was there with her boyfriend. We smoked dirty table weed scraps and watched Californication until 2am, and i woke up at 7am for boxing day hell at work.

Overall, it was a good christmas :)


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